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Subspace
Subspace (also called headspace) is the term used to describe a submissive’s state of being brought on by an intense combination of pain and pleasure.
Going Up
The body releases epinephrine, endorphins, enkephalins, and adrenaline as part of the “fight or flight” response, producing as morphine-like effect. Submissives experience an increased pain tolerance, out-of-body sensations, and impaired senses/abilities. Many experience subspace differently, but common effects could include an inability to communicate effectively, impaired vision, a limpness of the body, a hallucinogenic state of mind, and an overall detachment from reality. The reduced ability to communicate combined with the numbness to pain due to high levels of endorphins can lead to the sub actually being hurt/damaged if the Dominant involved is less experienced, unaware of what signals to watch for, or waiting for the sub to code out. On the other hand, a sub can become addicted to the high and while in subspace beg for more physical stimulation. It is in this kind of situation that the Dominant must retain control of the situation and bring the sub safely down from the high.
Levels of Subspace
- The ordinary headspace of a submissive.
- The mental shift within a submissive to focus on the Dominant, becoming receptive to their orders, and the Dominant’s attention is focused on the sub.
- “Smart-Assed Masochist“: (optional) Disobedient phase in which the sub may challenge the Dominant (ex. unclip cuffs, slide out of assigned position, didn’t hear a command). This is to ensure that the Dominant is going to stick to their rules and can be trusted.
- Blond Space: Breathing becomes deeper, the room may completely disappear, and the submissive may become less responsive. They may be giggly, forget orders, have illogical reactions, or find it difficult to speak coherently.
- Subspace: In this level, submissives may lose contact with the level of pain they are experiencing, extremities may feel numb, and if the submissive is standing during this level of play they can potentially fall to the floor or lose consciousness completely.
- Fight-or-Flight Syndrome: when a submissive reaches the point of losing all sense of reality.
“There are only two scenes in this lifestyle over the last 20 years that I witnessed this event and the Dom had to hold his submissive down on the floor with His body to keep her under control until she stopped scratching, clawing and trying to run. She was so high she was screaming ‘Let me go!’ It took her almost 15 minutes to regain enough composure to realize where she was.”
Coming Down
A sub begins coming out of subspace as their body ceases production of the chemicals mentioned earlier. Tingling, buzzing, grogginess and a feeling of drunkenness replaces the high while coordination and consciousness returns. Psychologically speaking, the effects of subdrop vary by individual and can range anywhere from a few hours to a couples weeks. In this aspect of subdrop, the mind reacts very similarly to withdrawal, such as feelings of guilt, shame, depression, irrational fears, anger, insecurity, loneliness, and tears. It is the Dominants responsibility to provide aftercare for the sub, which may include providing affection, reassurance, hugs, kisses, and cuddles.
Domspace
On the other side of the coin there is domspace (not to be confused with Dominant headspace: the headspace desired when preparing for a scene) which is similar in creating a “high” but with one very distinct difference: a Dominant must remain aware and monitor the sub at all times to maintain limits and safety. The high involved in domspace can be described as a feeling of amplification, being outside of yourself while being more yourself than ever, pure, focused, an expanded sense of intuition, heightened awareness, losing track of the time and space surrounding them, and a stronger than usual connection with the sub.
There are two ways to describe levels of domspace. Some people simply separate them in primary and secondary space while others have made levels similar to those of subspace.
Primary Domspace
A Dominant in primary domspace experiences feeling warm, flushed, a strange sensation in the chest, sharp squareness of the shoulders, and like one has the ability to take on the world.
Secondary Domspace
Physical exertion resulting in secretion of adrenaline, serotonin and endorphins. These chemicals make the dominant hyper sensitive and aware, calm, and even light-headedness or dizziness. Next, the body will release Dopamine, increasing energy, and oxytocin which produces a euphoric state.
Levels of Domspace
- Bottom Space: the ordinary headspace of a Dominant.
- Wannabe Domspace: More of a playful manner of topping, giving small Dominating impulses. More dominant in the physical sense than the emotional and mental sense.
- Tease Space: Very short phase in which the Dominant tests if he can control the power shift. He may allow the sub an opportunity to be disobedient or give her a little nudge.
- Dominant Space: Increased confidence, sensitivity, and pride. Power exchange becomes easy.
- Bastard Space: A primal phase, with the potential of becoming dangerous. A Dominant can lose control of themselves and go too far.
“Once I witnessed it once happened in RL in a community where me and my former Master used to gather weekly. He was a Master with quite experience and very known, and she was a very experience sub as well. They started a scene where all happened as it was expected, some whips, then tie her to a post and he started to use her, and along the way, we noticed he started to get more violent, more rough, and she enjoyed at first, but then she started to get more and more nervous. It reached to a point where she was crying, and he was not stopping, and even slapping her a few times, we were all there nervous and almost jumping from our seats… she whispered her safe word and he did not stopped, we only allowed to continue a few more seconds then two Masters came to hold him and try to calm him down, and took him away to another room… the girls went to her, untie her and helped her calm down as well…“
- God Space: When a Dominant feels he has total control over the entire essence of the sub.
The altered state of domspace, like subspace, does not necessarily happen every time a Dominant enters a scene. Ways to encourage domspace would include: ritualization of scene preparation, intimacy trust and connection with the submissive involved, confidence, non-attachment (focusing on reaching domspace will result in difficulty reaching domspace, a watched pot never boils), attention in the moment, focusing and responding, fluidity and going with the moment naturally, and, most importantly, relaxing and having fun.
Dom Drop
Dom drop is very similar to sub drop and can manifest in different ways depending on the person, the intensity of the scene, and can be physical or emotional, or both. Physically, a dom can experience exhaustion and soreness; while mentally they could experience self-doubt, lethargy, deep melancholy, and in some cases guilt.
Aftercare
For a Dom, taking care of oneself is just as important as taking care of one’s sub. Things that can help during drop would include drinking plenty of fluids, taking some “me time”, and communicating with one’s sub. As a sub, it’s very important to reassure your Dominant, tell them you love them, and that you enjoyed what they did during a scene.
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